Even if you are in a wonderful, blessed marriage the subject of finance and spending always is always a concern to disrupt a marriage into conflict. Some marriages have been dissolved because of the conflict of finances. We call this financial incompatibility. In a recent divorce study, couples that argue about finances at least once a week are 30% more likely to get divorced. The same study also found that couples with no assets at the beginning of a three-year period are 70% more likely to divorce by the end of that period than couples with $10,000 in assets. Finances is ranked as the 3rd most reason for divorce or 22%. So, with that said, if you are having financial conflicts in the marriage you need to work together on your finances and get it understood where you stand financially.
Those of you having financial conflicts probably do not even budget your money or have a family budget in place. If you do not have a budget in place, then you have no spending rules. You are just opening your wallets and purses and spending not knowing you have real financial concerns. And then the fight comes along when you find out that you have overspent and have no cash left. Now, I am not pointing finger at any one person because in a marriage it is about "we". We overspent. We do not have any money left. We do not know what we are doing.
For those of you reading this before you have said the "I do's". Sit down with a financial mediator and find out where you stand before you get married. The issue may be that you are bringing in student debt of thousands of dollars into the marriage. Some of you may have spent to the limit on your credit cards and your salary is not covering debt. You may have cars, houses, and other debt that you need to know about. And some of you my friends have tax liabilities you are bringing into the marriage. Debt and taxes will bring a lot of conflict into the marriage and you need to know this and have a plan on how you are going to get out of this debt or tax situation before you stand at the marriage alter. Otherwise, if you do not sit down and have a plan, then start planning for a divorce in three years. Be proactive and resolve the financial issues prior to marriage. Think ethically in pre-marriage decisions.
Now those of you that are already married and have together accumulated debt that has led to conflict, it is both your responsibilities. Not just one person in the marriage. Be wise and put together a budget. If you want a free budget I have one on my web site at: BUDGET
This budget worksheet will help you to identify the money flowing into your house and how much is leaping out. It will help you identify items that you can cut out of your budget and allow you to put the money into an emergency fund. Listen, inflation is rising in the United States and in nations around us, that means you are going to need an emergency fund. So, start building it right now. The other issue is that when you go over your budget and building one, you both do it together. One of you may be good at numbers, so do not take over the job by yourself because there will be conflicts if you do it alone. Do it together.
If you are unable to do it together then hire a mediator that has a background in finances to help you through the process. Or maybe you have an ongoing financial dispute that you need resolved. Call a mediator with a financial background that can help you through the disputes and come to a fair way to resolve the issue. However, if you are really focused together, as a team you can resolve these disputes and you will not even have to call your divorce attorney because you think it has come to an end. It is easy to run away from a problem, but it takes real love and guts to fact the problem together.
So let's not be a divorce statistic. Let's get your finances in order and hire a mediator to walk you through the process. Call my office at: 305.824.2963 or send an email to email@example.com
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Michael Lodge is a Nationally Certified Professional Mediator specializing in business disputes, as well as family conflicts. He has written three books and hosts an international podcast on IHeartRadio and other podcast media stations.