Co-Parenting and Forgiveness
Michael Lodge, NCPM, CRTP: Every night I end my day in prayer, my mom told me it was vital at the end of the day. I have said this before that I pray for three things, 1) for the forgiveness of my sins, 2)to help me forgive, 3) to teach about forgiveness through my actions and words. Now the last few nights in my conversation with God I told him I would do a blog on forgiveness, however I forgot, so this morning in my morning prayer I told God I would keep my promise. We humans are forgetful people.
First, I want to share some quotes that mean an important lesson for me.
Take forgiveness slowly. Don't blame yourself for being slow. Peace will come. - Yoko Ono - now this is important because we as humans think that everything can be done immediately. But when you dealing with forgiveness it takes time. It doesn't happen over night. Now it helps if you leave the issue or the person in God's hands, but our human minds keep going. The mind keeps spinning the incident or words said over and over in your mind. So even though we have stated we forgive, sometimes in your weakest moment, you un-forgive in your mind and you relive it all over again. The solution, look up, and say, Lord, help me forgive one more time. Depending on the hurt and pain you went through, forgive, but understand it is a process to forgive and it takes time.
Never forget the nine most important words of any family: I love you. You are beautiful. Please forgive me. - H. Jackson Brown Jr. - I do a lot of family mediation. In my mediation sessions with broken families forgiveness is a hard thing for them to muster. I see Grandparents that have been cut out of their grandchildren's lives because of words. I have seen co-parents fight over things that a simple decision can be made together instead of fighting against each other. Some of these conflicts come from us personally, we created the conflict. Before you even start a conversation with the person you are angry with, sit down first, and say out loud - I love you, you are beautiful, please forgive me. Remain silent, then pick up the phone or rewrite your text and through forgiveness you have words, verbal and written, that have been calmed. No matter how mad you are, go through the process of forgiveness. You have a great life ahead of you, don't screw it up with hate and not forgiving. Forgive yourself and the other person one more time and show love.
I say this over and over again, adults divorce but families don't. When you are co-parenting, you still have a family. Forgiveness is a process in the action of co-parenting.
If you are having problems in the co-parenting process and need to talk with a mediator to resolve conflict, call my office at 305.824.2963 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org If I am in a mediation session, leave a message and I will get back with you.
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Michael Lodge is a Nationally Certified Professional Mediator specializing in business disputes, as well as family conflicts. He has written three books and hosts an international podcast on IHeartRadio and other podcast media stations.