Michael Lodge, NCPM, CRTP - I love mediation. The reason is that it is a helping source for people who are trying to resolve issues. Family mediation comes in all sorts of different forms. Grandparents trying to reconcile with their children so they can see their grandchildren. Parents having an issue with teenage children. Families going through a separation or divorce. Moms and Dads that need to create a parenting plan for the children. This morning I received a request for mediation that I could tell came from the heart of this individual and wanted to get the help of a mediator, for which I commend him. www.lodge-co.com
"I am looking for a mediator to help my wife and I have a conversation. We have not spoken in a week because of a temporary restraining order that she ordered. I feel that a mediator will be safer for me, provide me more of an opportunity to speak, and hopefully end with a better outcome."
This type of request I get often because something happened that the person wants to be resolved through communication. In the heat of an anger there are words exchanged and actions are taken that make it very hard to clean up the situation, the court gets involved, and then the communication ends. When that something happens and sides feel threatened the court can step in and get involved, set the rules on how they can communicate or cannot communicate, or can't be around each other at all. Both sides are sitting there building up steam. They want to be heard. They need someone to vent to and that is when a mediator steps in and helps them refocus the communication of what needs to be addressed. By the way this is not just limited to married people, it involves those who are living together, have children together, have built a life together, and things get out of hand.
A mediator is brought in so that both sides can communicate with each other through a third party that keeps the communication civilized. They can speak to each other through a mediator who takes the message from one person to the other person, making it all confidential. A mediator is able to listen and cool each side down. A mediator is not a family therapist but he or she is that person that can refocus the heated energy to the very issues that need to be resolved and set up a communication process that limits the anger and enhance the communication process. The mediator can get the individuals to agree on terms of how to go forward and create an agreement on what needs to be done. Mediation is not therapy, but it does help resolve issues to move forward on.
Even before things get out of control, and you see a problem, set up a mediation session and express what you see the problems are so they can get resolved before the courts get involved. Be proactive in trying to resolve issues. If you need to get marital or relationship counseling from a licensed therapists in that area - do it. You have to admit something is wrong in order to resolve the issues, and there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, it is a trait of leadership and love if you reach out to professionals that can help you. Mediators are a good source to focus on the issues, weed out all of the emotional stuff, and get to the heart of the matter.
Remember, mediation is a confidential method to resolve issues. Try it, you will like it. If you need a mediator, contact my office. You can send me an email at email@example.com or book a 30 minute free consultation by going to: https://app.squarespacescheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=24589076
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Michael Lodge is a Nationally Certified Professional Mediator specializing in business disputes, as well as family conflicts. He has written three books and hosts an international podcast on IHeartRadio and other podcast media stations.