This article is from Mediate.com, written by Sherry Klein Heitler.  I found the article very well written and endorses my views as a mediator myself.

As a lawyer, judge, and now mediator, I have handled thousands of cases in multiple areas of the law. I have watched litigants navigate the court system and had the privilege of visiting multiple New York State courthouses to review that navigation so that there could be operational solutions to optimize the experience for all. Mediation offers litigants an opportunity to resolve a matter in a different way. The mediation process can save time and money, reduce stress and improve the overall well-being of the parties. Whether you are getting divorced or dealing with a personal injury matter, landlord-tenant issue, insurance coverage dispute, or employment or contract claims, mediation can offer extensive benefits.

For this article, I will focus on family law mediation, but the benefits apply to all types of cases.

Cost Savings:  Getting divorced in New York can cost a fortune. I have seen a great number of litigants deplete their life savings in matrimonial disputes. Many of these matters could have been resolved at a fraction of the cost through mediation.

Flexibility:  A judge has multiple cases on his or her calendar. As such, the judge will determine the day and time of an appearance and how the case will be heard. It might be in person or virtual. Mediation allows the parties and counsel the opportunity to weigh in on scheduling, as well as how the case is to be heard. In some situations, the proceeding might be a hybrid, in that some individuals appear in person and others participate remotely.

The parties and counsel will choose the mediator, which gives everyone a sense of control and confidence. The selection of a mediator is an initial step to begin to think that this individual will move the case toward resolution.

Time Savings and Continuity:  When a case goes to trial, there could be major disputes about finances and children. This type of case could take weeks to try, drawing out one of the most painful events in a person’s life, which can have a deep impact on finances, job performance, mental health, other relationships and overall well-being. Mediation means less time away from work, children, life and the real moments that matter.

Once the meditator establishes a rapport with the parties, it is crucial to keep the conversation moving. Agreements on smaller points often lead to agreements on larger ones. The ability in mediation to schedule day-to-day meetings is a wonderful tool in reaching a settlement.

Privacy:  Divorce is one of the most stressful life events. This is a time to find ways to lessen the impact of this stress on the family.

Divorce proceedings bring an additional level of scrutiny and can enhance the anxiety associated with the experience. Courtrooms are open, as they should be. In mediation, the setting is private, confidential, and more intimate and protected.

Long-Term Results: A study conducted by the University of Virginia and published by The Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology on the effects of mediating versus litigating child custody disputes offers a clear indication of the benefits of mediation over litigation. “The 12-year follow-up data indicate that, even in contested cases, mediation encourages both parents to remain involved in their children’s lives after divorce without increasing co-parenting conflict.”

Some of the additional highlights were that the nonresidential parent was more likely to be involved in co-parenting activities and, even after 12 years, was three times more likely to see their children weekly and four times more likely to talk to their children weekly than those parents who engaged in litigation. These findings are tremendously impactful when thinking about the effects of divorce.

A skilled mediator in a private setting who can focus on a matter without interruption has an excellent chance of bringing the parties to a resolution. Each party has a story to tell, and the mediator must listen and not be judgmental. The best resolution provides a foundation for future problem-solving. And, of course, the hope is that relationships can be preserved, especially when there are children involved.
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Mediation saves parties money and time, and gives them the opportunity to close a difficult chapter in their lives. Mediation helps parties to work toward the best potential outcome for today and for the future.

Written by:  Sherry Klein Heitler - Mediate.com

​Since I have been involved in SNIFs and LTC facilities I found this article interesting.
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Written by:  KIMBERLY MARSELAS, Mcnights long term care news
A nursing home arbitration agreement that forced residents or family members to split fees in a dispute has been deemed “unconscionable,” a ruling that may pave the way for more lawsuits against providers.

The Pennsylvania Superior Court last week affirmed a lower state court’s ruling that an agreement used by Highland Park Care Center in PIttsburgh -— and other facilities owned by Grane Healthcare — could not be enforced.

The estate of Fay Vincent sued the nursing home, a hospital and affiliates, citing negligence in the 67-year-old woman’s death. A trial court twice previously denied Highland Park’s attempt to force the case into arbitration, the Insurance Journal reported.

In its precedential opinion, the court noted that Vincent’s decision to sign the arbitration agreement was complicated by her condition at admission: She was blind, in pain and on medication and without family. The facility also did not give her a copy of the agreement, even though she would have had 10 days to revoke her consent.

The court also ruled that a provision requiring the resident to pay half of the costs of any arbitration, including arbitrator’s fees, was “substantively unconscionable because it imposed additional expenses for bringing a claim that Decedent would not have to bear in a court action.”

“Imposing this additional expense on all claims for damages brought by a resident unreasonably favors the nursing home and is sufficient to satisfy the requirement of substantive unconscionability where, as here, the record establishes that the resident was not given full information concerning her choices or any opportunity to inform herself of what she was signing or to exercise those choices,” read the July 5 opinion.

A message left Monday with Grane Healthcare from McKnight’s Long-Term Care News was not returned by production deadline.

Kristin Hoffman of Wilkes & Associates represented the plaintiff. She told the Legal Intelligencer that the “decision breaks from a pattern of recent case law favoring defendants in challenges to arbitration agreements.”

Hoffman said fee-splitting language is commonly used by the nursing home sector. This was the first time she was aware of a court striking down that provision and impacting enforceability, and the move may make it easier for plaintiff’s counsel to target that clause.

Earlier today I posted a scam that came through a text to my cell phone. The problem with these scammers is that they are not that bright. Go through the text below and you will see that they are following a pattern of a scam in the attempt to get your personal information to do an even greater scam.

So I got this scam text last night - I will play along. Scammers just make it to easy to have fun with their time.

Original Scammer Text: Hello I’m Mr. Richard Wahl, the winner of $533 Million In Modest Mega Millions Jackpot, here is my winnings interview WATCH ME HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tne02ExNDrw I’m donating to 100 random individuals. if you get this message note then your number was select after a spin ball. I have spread most of my wealth over a number of charities and organizations I have voluntarily decided to donate the sum of $100,000 USD to you as one of the random selected 100 peoples, All you need to do now is contact Agent Jarvis Carpenter in charge of your winnings, he just need to verify you and process your win. You don’t have to pay any charges fee to get your win.. Here is the number of the agent.... (717) 833-2326 text him now for the delivery of your winnings money.
(writers note: The link to the Youtube link was from 4 years ago. Big red flag.

My Text Response: I was told I won.

Scammers Text Response: I'm Jarvis Carpenter. I'm in charge of your winning. NOTE! You are not to send any money to anyone to claim your winnings...kindly confirm your full name, so i can check it out on the winning list. Thanks .

My Text Response: Michael Lodge

Scammers Text Response: Congratulations! I'll love to let you know that your name is among the winners on the list, Let me know if you are ready to verify yourself to receive your winnings

My Text Response: Sure, go ahead

Scammers Text Response: To proceed to claim your winning payment, you need to send a clear front & back picture of your Driver's License to be sure you are the right person claiming your money. NOTE! You are not to send any money to anyone to claim your winnings. Thanks

My Text Response: This is not a safe sending a copy of my driver's license to someone from a text

Scammers Text Response: no response received

Now what the scammer really wanted was my information. With that information they could do even greater damage by either selling it to other criminals or using it themselves. These scammers are now using the texting system to do run scams on people. Our information is valuable.

This was the second text scam I had received this morning. A text came in identifying themselves from the California EDD. With a link to get information, but was not a EDD government link. These guys are not that smart, if they know the government each site they own identifies themselves as a government agency. And the other big clue, EDD never sends a text.
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So here we go, more and more text scams and the rule - Block Them.

Written by:  ​By CARMELA DENICOLA

​As the number of LGBTQ marriages has significantly increased in recent years, the number of divorces has also gone up. Undoubtedly, LGBTQ couples deal with almost all the same types of concerns and challenges that heterosexual couples face. Therefore, a similar rate of marital discord and divorce among LGBTQ couples should come as no surprise. Here are some of the LGBTQ divorce trends that experienced mediators point out.

Lesbian Marriages are More Likely to End in Divorce
A research study in the UK revealed that the likelihood of lesbian couples ending their marriages was higher in comparison to gay male marriages. Researchers said that out of the total number of divorce petitions filed by same-sex couples in 2019, nearly 75 percent involved lesbian couples. This skewed ratio of lesbian divorce versus gay male divorce has remained more or less consistent since 2016.
According to mediation experts in the US that have dealt with LGBTQ divorce issues, the trend in the US may not be much different from what the UK study has projected. As more data about LGBTQ marriages and divorces becomes available, social scientists, therapists, researchers, and divorce mediators increasingly concur on this emerging trend.

Studies Indicate Gay Male Marriages are More Resilient
The legalization of same-sex marriages in the US has helped in the collection of some real data on LGBTQ marriages. One of the key findings of most studies is that lesbians are more likely to get married than gay men. But the greater inclination of lesbian couples to walk down the aisle is proportionately matched by their higher tendency to end their marriage.

The most data on this issue is available in the Netherlands, which was the world’s first country to legalize same-sex marriages. Data shows that between 2005 and 2015, while only 15% of gay marriages failed in the country, a full 30% of lesbian marriages ended in divorce.

Causes behind LGBTQ Divorces
Experienced divorce mediators suggest that LGBTQ couples often cite similar reasons for ending their marriage as heterosexual couples. Almost 65 percent of LGBTQ divorced couples said that they decided to end their marriage because of the “unreasonable behavior” of their partner (which also includes adultery).

According to some active supporters of LGBTQ rights and other analysts, the trend of a higher number of lesbian divorces than gay male divorces may have several explanations. It appears that many lesbian couples enter into marriage more hastily, and some of them inevitably end up regretting their decision.

Another contributory factor might be the average age of marriage among lesbian couples, which is relatively higher than that of gay male couples who enter into marriage. This trend indicates that lesbian marriages have a higher likelihood of being second marriages, which historically increases their risk of divorce.

Some LGBTQ divorce mediation specialists opine that whether among heterosexual couples or LGBTQ couples, women appear to have a lower tolerance for their partner’s infidelity compared to men. They have noted that more women usually cite the infidelity of their partner as their reason for seeking divorce than men do.

Talk to a Compassionate and Skilled LGBTQ Divorce Mediator

Sometimes, the relationships in our lives can become toxic over time. Whether it’s in the relationships we hold with our colleagues, our partners, our family members, or our bosses, toxicity can creep in and have destructive effects. 

In this article, we will be sharing how mediation can help toxic behaviors in relationships so that you can find a positive and peaceful way forward, even with people you struggle with. 

What Defines a Toxic Relationship?
When people think of toxic relationships, they often picture romantic relationships gone wrong. However, toxic relationships come in all forms, from personal to professional. These relationships can be incredibly destructive and can cause a lot of pain to those involved. 
According to Psychology Today, “the term (toxic) was first used by Lillian Glass in her 1995 book Toxic People and was used to indicate a relationship that is built on conflict, competition, and the need for one person to control the other.” Toxic relationships are typically:

• Isolating
• Lacking in trust 
• Hostile 
• Uncommunicative 
• Controlling 
• Selfish 
• Draining 
• Dishonest 

It is thought that people who struggle with mental health difficulties tend to be more susceptible to toxic relationships because they are often more sensitive to negative emotions and this can make them more vulnerable. Thankfully, mediation can help. 

How Mediation Can Help 
Mediation is a helpful and unbiased way to mend broken relationships. A mediator acts as the middle man between two parties, helping people come to an agreement that benefits both sides. Mediation is a helpful and practical way for many people to face up to their disagreements and to consider the best and healthiest way to move forward. 

Many people in toxic relationships choose mediation for support as it is less formal than counselling, it’s not about judging who is right or wrong, it’s completely confidential, and it is not legally binding. As such, mediation can be used in both personal and professional environments to help individuals overcome their issues and move forwards with their lives. 

Let’s take a look at how mediation can help solve toxic behaviours in relationships. 

1. Reestablishes Lost Connections 
So often in toxic relationships, the connectedness we form can become lost. This is the result of two people pulling away from each other, rather than closer together. This connectedness can be something that is lost slowly over many years or within a matter of days. It all depends on the circumstances that have caused such a disconnect. 

Mediation can help as it supports both parties in reestablishing that connectedness. This is the vital first step in mending toxic behaviours in relationships as it helps two people connect again in a safe and supportive environment where they feel listened to and protected. 

2. Promotes the Importance of Active Listening 
One of the most important roles a mediator has to play in situations like these is that of active listener. More often than not, those in toxic relationships become more frustrated and upset over time as they struggle with the reality they’re not being listened to. 

A good mediator is always an effective and active listener. They will not take sides and therefore they remain a neutral spectator throughout. As we shared on our blog, “Mediation is not just random talk but having constructive dialogue. Dialogues are two way conversations where one person speaks while the other listens then responds […] Mediators will find that practicing active listening and encouraging the parties to also actively listen makes a big difference both in the mediation process and final outcome.” 

3. Helps Promote Healthy Communication Styles
Mediation is one of the best ways to promote healthy communication styles for those in toxic relationships. It provides a safe and confidential environment for both parties to express their feelings, share their concerns, and be honest about their struggles. As this communication is being carried out in the presence of a mediator, it is an impartial process and therefore is typically healthier and more productive than it otherwise would be. 

As a result, mediation can be a positive way for those in toxic relationships to learn how to communicate more effectively with one another so that progress can be made, hurts can be healed, and everyone can move forward into the future. 

4. Maintains a Sense of Calm 
Mediation can be particularly helpful for maintaining a sense of calm. For those in toxic relationships, it can be easy for tempers to flare, tears to rise to the surface, and calm explanations to turn into naming and blaming. Often, harsh words are said the relationships deteriorate even further as a result. 

Mediation provides support by maintaining a sense of calm during difficult times. Through strategies such as active listening and the offering of unbiased support, it is possible for mediators to help maintain calm in even the most difficult situations. This can have an overwhelmingly positive effect on those receiving the support and could teach people the benefits of maintaining a sense of calm during trying times. 

Final Words As you can see, there are many ways mediation can help toxic behaviors in relationships. We hope this article has encouraged you to consider the benefits of mediation in your own life, whether you are seeking support personally or professionally. 
by:  Sophie Bishop from the Mediator.com

By JEN REYNOLDS
June 10, 2022
From the New York Times, a fascinating article about “prison consultants” and how they can help people heading to prison with sentencing for white collar convictions.

You’d think that the lawyer would be helping the client with sentencing. But that’s not always how things work, according to author Jack Hitt. “A lawyer is your legal guide to staying out of prison,” Hitt writes, “but once that becomes inevitable, a prison consultant is there to chaperone you through the bureaucracies that will eventually land you in your new home, easing your entry into incarceration — and sometimes even returning you to the outside, utterly changed.”

Hitt points out that the emergence of prison consultants is in part because of the prominence of plea bargaining in our system today:

Almost everyone facing charges is forced to plead guilty (or face an angry prosecutor who will take you to trial). In 2021, 98.3 percent of federal cases ended up as plea bargains. It’s arguable that in our era of procedural dramas and endless “Law & Order” reruns, speedy and public trials are more common on television than in real-life courthouses. What people … have to deal with as they await sentencing is a lot of logistics.

The idea of a prison consultant might conjure an image of an insider broker or fixer, but they’re really more like an SAT tutor — someone who understands test logic and the nuances of unwritten rules. Yet prison consulting also involves dealing with a desolate human being who has lost almost everything — friends, family, money, reputation — and done it in such a way that no one gives a damn. So they’re also a paid-for best friend, plying their clients with Tony Robbins-style motivational insights, occasionally mixed with powerful sessions about the nature of guilt and shame.

Apparently some of the parents who pled guilty in the Varsity Blues scandal used prison consultants. (Of course they did.) Prison consultants like Justin Paperny advise clients to think of their interactions with the sentencing judge as opportunities to tell their story–not to proclaim their innocence, importantly, but to set forth a narrative of taking responsibility and seeking to become a better person:
Many lawyers send their clients into this interview with the standard legal advice to say as little as possible and limit the damage — good advice during an arrest or even in the courtroom. “But this is the most important interview the defendant will ever have, and you’d be stunned at how many defendants do not prepare,” Paperny said. “This is a chance for you to change the narrative.”

Changing that narrative looks a lot like what we might teach in negotiation around figuring out how to frame your communication to be persuasive to the other side. Rather than just assemble a list of requests or insist on one’s innocence, the consultant recommends that clients write out “a full life story in the form of a letter”:
[T]hen rewrite it with editors working through every line, then ask you to read it over and over until, eventually, you sit down for a mock interview. By the time the officer is conducting the real interview, the story he hears is a full autobiography with a beginning, a middle and an end. And somewhere in there is this speed bump in the narrative — your crime.

Hugo Mejia, who pled guilty to crimes related to money laundering and Bitcoin, hired Paperny’s firm to assist with Mejia’s transition to prison. Mejia worked on his letter all spring in preparation for a pre-sentencing interview in June. After numerous drafts, he ended up telling a complex, layered story that “hints at a rehabilitation that has yet to fully manifest”:

… [H]ow the letter handles the present tense is the most vivid transformation. All the self-exoneration has been slyly edited out. The first-person confessional tone is searing. “I write this letter feeling humiliated and heartbroken,” Mejia begins. “I know now that I crossed a red line that exists for important reasons. At first, exchanging cash for Bitcoin seemed legitimate. I see now that I was wrong.” He closes by addressing the judge directly: “It was important for me to show you who I really am. I accept full responsibility for my action and will never return to your courtroom as a criminal defendant.”
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To learn more about Paperny (he’s a convicted felon, as are all twelve of the consultants employed at his firm), check out this interview.